I just need quiet.
My life for the past four years had never experienced silence. There was noise everywhere. I was always busy with something. From the hasty wedding preparations throughout the recession in 2008, moving house twice and immigrating to a different country in 2009, going back home again to deliver a baby alone, prevent a marriage of thirty years from collapsing, drain my life savings in support of my father’s lung surgery, all these in 2010. My husband’s work is overseas so I was left behind to care for the baby while waiting for our resident visas to come mid 2011. Now the baby has turned two, so terrible a little tyke he could be. Despite a conservative upbringing, this minuscule person had not inherited any. As soon as he’s up in the morning, it is as if a disaster is always waiting to happen. Whoever had an idea that a cute innocent face could make such a huge mess and such an earsplitting noise?
I need quiet and I don’t think it will come any time soon.
Days are crammed with endless chores, an overwhelming routine no doubt all of us full time moms knew too well. At times I couldn’t help but wish to slip into that suit tucked inside the corners of my closet, put the stilettos back on and waltz into the professional realm once familiar ground before motherhood. Am I ranting? Maybe a little or almost certainly when I can’t hear myself anymore. Don’t get me wrong though, I love my family despite the daily frenzy. My son is so dear I need my sanity in tact to perform my duties the best I could.
Just this morning as I browse the net, I came across Jia Ni Teo’s blog on the art of inspiration. Everything written in there is so real it hit the spot. I need to stop ranting and start raving instead. I need to live life however exigent the tasks of each day present themselves.
“The inspiration you seek is already within you. Be silent and listen.” http://jianiteo.com/art-of-inspiration/
I need quiet. I decided the only way to get it is to write.
This is how my story begins.